Hide and Seek
by Jena Rink
Summary: RATING NOW MWhat do you do when the one thing that makes sense in your life vanishes? You run. Or at least I do. And I’ve gotten damned good at hiding. Jommy This has been revamped so check it out, hombres. :
1. Running Back

1 **Hide and Seek**

The Revamped Rewrite begins...NOW.

I hope you like it.

And I don't own instant star.

Or any lyrics I use unless I tell you they are my own.

The prolouge is not in first person (the italics) the rest is.

**Prologue- Running Back**

_So you don't know where to go,_

_you don't know where to hide, _

_holding all your tears, _

_keeping your pain inside. _

_With your back against the wall, _

_heart falling from your hands, _

_you throw it in the river, _

_the river's gonna run again. _

_Oh, yeah, yeah. _

_But you are not alone._

_But you're not safe at home._

_.And you're running back, _

_running back when you're off track. _

_Lookin' for a home _

_or a house to call your own. _

_You need a phone, _

_you feel all alone. _

_Don't know where to start _

_while you fall apart. _

_And you need someone to hold _

_your hands and cope. _

_You feel a little older, _

_you need a shoulder, _

_oh I know. _

_But you're not alone_

_What they will believe, _

_and if you wanna change, _

_how's it meant to be, _

_Oh, you wanna live a life, _

_You need to break away. _

_Counting on your hands, _

_the days you have left to pay. _

_**Alexz Johnson- Running Back**_

"_You've got a great voice kid..."it was late, and at a small coffee shop in downtown Seattle, a 17 year old girl with brown hair and blue eyes strummed away at her guitar, her voice lost in the lyrics of the song. She ended it to enthusiastic applause, her eyes scanning the room, and she smiled softly._

_"Thank you..."she said softly, accepting the sixty dollars from the manager._

_"Can you come back tomorrow?" she shook her head sadly, fidgeting with the star shaped ring on her finger._

_"I'm sorry...I..."_

_"What are you running from?" he asked her, and she sighed, pulling her hair back into a half ponytail, her eyes meeting his._

_"Everything...thanks for letting me play..."she said softly._

_"Anytime..."he remarked, watching her leave the shop and hail a cab, looking like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. And to her, she did. She had for six months. _

**Chapter One- Hide and Seek**

_Where are we? _

_What the hell is going on? _

_The dust has only just begun to fall, _

_Crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling. _

_Spin me round again and rub my eyes. _

_This can't be happening. _

_- Imodgen Heap, Hide and Seek_

God, I look awful. My cheeks are hollow, my eyes are bloodshot, and my lip is swollen from where I'd Gnawed at it constantly since I left Toronto three weeks ago. I looked at my phone, it'd been ringing non-stop for the last three weeks. 21 days, 4 hours, and 34 minutes… But he still hadn't called. Apparently he didn't care that I went Missing in Action. So I didn't care about anything else. What do you do when the one thing that makes sense in your life vanishes? You run. Or at least I do. And I've gotten damned good at hiding.

Making my way through various states, stopping in New York to sell my car, buying a train ticket to Chicago, and going from there. Singing for money at street corners, dying my hair. I was an artist at this now. I'd mastered the art of concealing myself, even not answering phone calls from everyone, or picking them up to listen to what they had to say, but never long enough for them to trace the call. Because I'd only been waiting for one call. A call, that quite possibly, would never come.

Did he not know I was waiting? Did he not know I was considered a runaway? I think the song I sang at the new music party Darius had thrown the night I left said it all. I was done. Everyone deserted me. My mom, my dad, my sister for Kwest, Jamie and Patsy to wrapped up in each other, and Speiderman to hung up on me to speak to me. Mason was on tour, and I had no one. So why would it matter if I left, if I hid from my shit of a life that had burst into the open the second Liam had received the pictures in the mail, quickly informing me that when Darius saw these my career would be over. And that was it. That was the final straw. I packed up, and ran away to hide.

Seattle was nice. I'd found her address online, signing onto my account quickly and ignoring the full inbox of messages. It wouldn't help to read they missed me, because when I went home, everything would still be the same. I wasn't going to be where I wasn't wanted.

"424 Spring Street..."I told the cab driver, who looked at me quizzically.

"Are you sure that's your part of town, hun?" he asked me, in a thick accent. I shrugged, and got in the cab, leaning back into the leather seats and staring ahead of me in trepidation. This was going to be interesting. I hadn't seen her since I'd left for my first tour. And I didn't know how she would react. Not at all.

When we pulled up to the gate, I shrugged, glancing around me. It was huge. She'd obviously done well for herself, he'd set her up well. I gulped, and hoisted my bag over my shoulders, grabbing my guitar and backpack and tipping the driver generously. He stared at me in suprise.

"I'm sorry I was short earlier..."he apologized, and I shrugged, turning and walking up the steps.

I rang the doorbell, my hand shaking, wondering if she was even here. When someone that looked like a twenty year old opened the door, his eyes scanning me in shock, I stared at him strangely.

"Do I have something on my face?" I asked him, confused, and he shook his head.

"You're Jude Harrison..."he realized, and I shrugged, raising my eyebrows.

"You're not the first person to realize that...is Georgia..."he nodded, disappearing into the house.

"Hey! Aunt G! There's someone here to see you!" he called into the house, and I got even more nervous, glancing around like a bunny who was going to scamper off at any second.

"Oh my God..."Georgia said softly, at a loss for words.

"Hi..."I said simply, albeit a little uncomfortably.

"Come in, Jude...how did you get all the way to Seattle?" she asked me, concerned.

She hadn't seen me in nearly a year. My hair wasn't brown then, and I wasn't nearly this skinny. And I still had light in my eyes.

"I looked your address up..."I confessed quietly.

"Here..I'll...Aidan..go set her up a room, okay?" she told the guy from the door, who nodded, taking off down the hallway.

"Come sit...you want something to drink?" she asked me, her eyes searching mine, and I shook my head, tears pooling in the back of my eyes.

"Oh, honey..."she whispered, letting me cry into her shoulder, her arms around me.

When I finally stopped crying about ten minutes later, I pulled away, leaning back on the couch and wiping my eyes tiredly.

"Everyone's been so worried..."she told me, and I shrugged, wrapping my arms around my waist and staring at the window. It had started raining, how appropriate.

"Yeah...six months is a long time isn't it?" I asked her finally, turning to face her again.

"You're not going to tell them, are you?" I asked her, after a long moment of silence,"Because I can't go back there G, especially not now..."

"Look, I'll get you settled in...you can take a shower, relax a little? And then we'll talk about this?"she asked me, and I nodded, getting up and glancing around myself tiredly.

The shower felt wonderful, and when I slipped into my sweatpants and Ramones t-shirt, putting my hair in a turban, I felt much better. Better, but still screwed up. They talked about me on the radio as if it was some sort of publicity stunt. Darius was probably fuming right now, sitting in his office and trying to figure out where the hell he went right. I laughed to myself, and opened the door. I wouldn't be surprised if she's at least texted Tommy. She probably knows why he took off. Speaking of phones, mines going off again. I picked it up, completely silent.

"Come on sis, I know you're there…okay maybe I don't…Jude this is serious…everyone's really worried…" I bit my lip to keep from talking to her.

"Darius isn't mad about the pictures...he's just concerned...can you get back here before everything falls apart?" I hung up the phone as an answer, staring at it in silence before I glanced up to Georgia standing in the doorway.

"You need anything?" she asked me, and I shook my head, staring at my journal. It was mocking me, the three songs practically begging to be played. The only three songs I'd written since I'd left.

"Thanks for doing this..."I said softly, and stood up, hugging her again.

"You're really okay…we've all been sick with worry…"she said quietly, and I nodded, swallowing thickly. I really wasn't okay. Not even close. Of course hitting number one…there's a part of joy in me that wants to come out. But him not being here so I can share it with him is preventing it.

"Is my mom back from Europe yet?" I asked quietly, playing with the blanket I was laying under.

"They can't get a hold of her…"Georgia said, and I snorted, my anger getting the best of me. She deserved to be hated. She abandoned Sadie and me when we needed her the most, and I wasn't just about to try and find her.

"Hope she's having fun with Don…and I know Little Tommy Q has no idea…"I let it slip,"He skipped out before I did…" Oh great…now she's going to know. And here come the questions.

"I know Tommy was your best friend…your producer…almost like family…" Oh she had no idea did she? I didn't even want to get this out right now. The kiss, either of them, my 17th birthday, the date he asked me on...

"It's a little more complicated then that…"I said quietly, and glanced up at her.

"Well we all knew you liked him…"I snorted, she glanced at me strangely.

"What?" she questioned, a smile on her face, and I blushed.

"Do you want the long version or the short version?" Georgia laughed softly, crossing her legs and handing me a cup of hot chocolate.

"Wait…there's versions to this?" she asked quizzically, and I sighed.

"I think it started when I kissed him…a few days after I won…"her eyes widened,"Then you can add in him kissing me on my sixteenth birthday, and then about seven ago…then asking me out on a date, and leaving with no explanation whatsoever…"I paused, glancing at her, "That's the short version…"I explained.

"The short version?"Georgia said,"Jude…"

"You know…I tried not to fall for him…I really did…I told myself to hate him when he dated Sadie…when he went to Europe with her…when he kissed me because I was crying, told me it wasn't a pity kiss, and made me promise to forget it… when wee got locked in the Chrome Cat on my 17th birthday and wrote music and told me it never could of worked out with Sades because of me…when he kissed me again last month and I let him, when I wrote White Lines for him, when he finally asked me out to dinner, showed up late and left with nothing but a bye…when he calls me girl, or big eyes and I just melt…when he hugs me…he couldn't even look at me Georgia… "I closed my eyes tightly to prevent the onslaught of tears, and she hugged me.

"You're okay, Jude…you're going to be fine…"

My phone was ringing again. I groaned, and glanced at the LCD screen. It was him. My breath caught in my throat.

"Georgia…"I held it out limply.

"Just listen to what he has to say…"she said, and opened it.

"Jude?" he sounded worried. I hoped he was,"Girl are you there? Just say something so I know you're okay…talk to me…"I glanced at Georgia, and refused to open my mouth. I'm sure he could hear me breathing, trying to keep my composure, "Fine, then I'll talk…"

I held the phone to my ear silently, biting my lip. There was no way I was going to hang up now. He took a deep breath before speaking, and I got up, walking towards the kitchen. Georgia followed, siting next to me as I plopped down in a seat.

"I'm sorry I made you leave…"he started, "I know I'm responsible for this," Before I could even began to hold my tongue I spoke.

"Jude," he breathed, and I rolled my eyes. Who was he to care. Needless to say, I'd been waiting to hear his voice. Every day he'd been gone I missed his voice.

"I can't believe you actually called..." I paused, "That you actually had the nerve to call.."I added as an afterthought.

"Don't turn this into an attack on me Jude..."he warned, his voice hollow.

"Why? I think it's completely justifiable!" I responded heatedly, getting up and starting to pace.

"You're still a kid, how could you possibly run away and expect us not to worry!" he asked me, his voice so cold I almost got shivers listening to it.

"Oh is that how you think of me?" I asked him angrily,"You think I'm a child, someone who runs away from her problems? Well newsflash, Quincy, you ran first...ran from the fact that you were attracted to someone that was out of bounds, that you could never have!" I fumed.

"There's more to the story then that..."he said dangerously.

"I'm not taking an explanation from the man that ruined me..."I said softly, my voice shaking.

"Where are you?" he asked me, his voice harsh.

"I'm safe...if you even care, and that's all that matters..."I responded bitingly.

Wait a minute. Why wasn't I asking him where the hell he was?

"Where are you?" I countered, and was shocked when he responded.

"In Montana..."he said simply, and I frowned. Montana? What the hell was Tommy doing in Montana?

"Wanna tell me where you really are, girl?" he asked me seconds later, and I shrugged.

"Seattle..."I finally said, my voice cracking.

" You're with Georgia," the sob sob that came out of my throat was enough of an answer for him"Why are we fighting?" he asked, and I bit my lip, fighting back tears.

"Beccause it's what we always do, Quincy..." I responded quietly.

"Can I come and get you?" he pressed, and I sighed.

"I'm not going back, if that's what you're asking, Tommy..."I breathed, and he sighed.

"Then you can come to Montana...I'll pick you up in a week..."I frowned.

"Tommy, I don't know if that's such a good..."he cut me off.

"I miss you..."he said simply, and I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

"I'm not the same girl, Tom...you know that?" I responded.

"I know...but I still want to..."he said.

"We can't fly..."

"I'll drive..."he said quickly,"I'll call you..."

"Don't tell anyone-"I started, and he cut me off.

"I won't...I promise..."he said sincerely, and I glanced down at my hands.

"I don't know if I can trust that...but I'll see you in a week..."I hung up, and glanced at Georgia.

"He's coming to get me..."I said simply, my head spinning.

To be frank, I like this version a hell of a lot better. I hope you enjoy.

Tell me if it sucks and I will switch it back.

Jena


	2. authors note

1Author's note-

I really hope you guys like it a lot. I tried to make it more readable, and at this point I'm just trying to spell, because frankly, I'm a little intoxicated. I'll update soon.

Love you all-

Jena


	3. Let that Be Enough

1Hide and Seek, the Revamped Edition

Chapter Two- Let that be enough

Jena Rink

October 1st, 2006

For those who asked, yeah, I typed half of yesterday's chapter pretty drunk. Sorry. I just...yeah.

It was Saturday night, and you can't blame a girl for wanting to do something fun, even if it involved way too much Scotch and a lot of Crown Royal...ew. Lol. But I'm sober now, and content to work on this to it's best ability.

So here goes it, or whatever.

I don't own Instant Star

Chapter Two:

Let that Be Enough:

_Wish I had what I needed_

_To be on my own _

_Cause I feel so defeated _

_And I'm feeling alone _

_And it all seems so helpless _

_And I have no plans _

_I'm a plane in the sunset _

_With nowhere to land _

_And all I see _

_It could never make me happy _

_And all my sand castles _

_spend their time collapsing _

_Let me know that you hear me _

_Let me know your touch _

_Let me know that you love me _

_Let that be enough _

_**Switchfoot- Let that Be enough**_

****I was mad at myself for running. I was mad at myself for being weak, for selling the car, for not calling anyone, the list could go on and on. And Tommy had just made me feel a thousand times worse. I had no idea he cared. And that sounded stupid even to my own ears. He'd always cared. He'd convinced me to go on when I didn't want to, when Jamie hated me, when my dad cheated on my mom, when I got back from tour and Darius was hell bent on changing my image, to write songs to get out my feelings, everything. And now I'd have to see him and admit another wrong, running away because I couldn't face Toronto without him beside me. I'd always said he was my rock. I'd always thought it at least. But I wasn't sure if I was ready to see him yet. Not sure at all. And I also wasn't sure I was ready for him to help me go on again. Because he'd let me down more than anyone ever had the night he left me standing there.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, there's something completely frustrating about having to admit you were wrong. I'm stuck in between right now. The pros and cons list I made before I left might help me explain things. I kept making it. It's been in this stupid red journal, along with the lyrics I'd penned in the duration of my absence. Little journal entries with pros and cons amidst all the madness. Pros and cons and my obvious feelings towards the situation, which sometimes were only one sentence. _I wish I could go home again. _ Wishing never makes dreams come true. Wishing is a pastime that our planet has made up to make up for the things that are lacking in our insignificant lives. I wish Quincy hadn't let me down over and over, I wish I didn't have to break Speid's heart, I wish I could of told him how I felt, how I feel, I wish I hadn't gotten drunk at Mason's concert, I wish I wouldn't have let this go six months without contacting anyone, I wish I wasn't so weak, I wish I wasn't so alone, I wish I didn't feel so defeated. Wishes can't come true. The root in thinking they can is only denial. And denial isn't just a river in Egypt. It's a freakin' ocean.

Georgia interrupted my thoughts, sitting down next to me at the window seat in her cavernous kitchen, handing me a cup of tea.

"Thanks..."I said quietly, staring down at my journal, my eyes reading over what I'd been trying to write all day.

I build people up, and then they let me down. I'd been doing it my whole life. Misplaced faith led me to think I was inadequate. Which at this point I was convinced I was. Where was I supposed to go from here? Quincy would be here in a couple of hours, and then what? It certainly wouldn't go back to being all peaches and cream. Not right away anyways. I'd grown up a lot in the last six months. And I wouldn't let him back in. Not like nothing had happened. Because a lot had happened.

"You written a lot?" I handed her the journal wordlessly, letting her scan the pictures.

"Jude these are amazing..."she said simply, handing them back, and I glanced down at my lap.

"If I ever get to record them...after the fiasco I've pulled I doubt that Darius..."she cut me off.

"I think you may be in for a surprise..."she said softly, staring out the window.

"What kind of surprise?" I asked her, skeptical.

"He offered me a job...I couldn't not take it..."she added, and I glanced at her.

"You're going back to Toronto?" I questioned, and she nodded, taking a sip of the cup in her own hand, her thoughts clearly somewhere else.

"Whenever and if you decide to come back...they'll be a spot for you..."she promised me, and I gave her a long hug, glancing out at the rain that had started to fall when I saw headlights.

"And so it begins..."I breathed, my fingers on the glass, watching Tommy's Hummer until it pulled up in the driveway, getting up.

"I should go get my stuff..."I shot up the stairs before she could stop me, closing the door to the room I had been in and leaning against it, trying to keep myself calm. I couldn't panic. Not now, not when he was probably right outside the door. I could feel him right outside.

"Jude?" he asked, and I slid down the door, biting my lip to keep from saying something I'd regret.

"You told me once that if the door was ever locked to just knock it down...Jude..."he pressed, waiting silently for me to open the door. I was afraid of what he'd think. Me, a shell of who I once was, with bags under my eyes because I couldn't sleep, skinnier because eating had made me sick lately, and hollow. I got up, facing the door, and undid the lock, swinging it open, not saying a word, feeling his eyes burning into me.

Some words are better left unsaid. He hugged me, and I knew he was sorry. I knew he'd worried sick, and I knew he cared. But he still had a lot to prove. His arms were around my waist, holding me close, and I took a breath to pull back and stare at him, my eyes going over the lines on his face, his eyes, which were darker than usual, and the fact that he wasn't as tan as he usually was.

"You look like crap..."I commented, and he leant his forehead against mine.

"So do you..."he responded, his eyes concerned, and I avoided his gaze.

"You guys ready to do this?" Georgia asked, and I jumped away from him, grabbing my stuff as a distraction.

"Jude, I can get that..."

"I got it Tommy..."I told him, our eyes communicating silently, and carried the stuff to the front door, pausing to say goodbye to Georgia and promise her we'd call. And then, after we ran out into the rain to put my things in the back of Tommy's Hummer, we were off.

I leant my head against the plush leather seats, closing my eyes and groaning softly, as he pulled out of the driveway and onto the residential street, the windshield wipers almost lulling me to sleep.

_The next seven days would be an experience we'd both remember for the rest of our lives. Learning to trust each other again, to confide. Learning things about ourselves and each other that we'd never even known, and how to deal with them. And learning how to face reality when it finally caught up to us. How to face our pasts that had driven us apart so much that we had to learn to be friends again. And if we could ever be more than just that._

_Okay, so?_

_Good, horrible?_

_Let me know, yo!_

_Jena :)_


	4. Winding Road

Hide and Seek-

Chapter Three-Winding Road

Jena Rink

My roomate is snoring. Because of this I'm still writing.

_Oh the Rain_

_Keeps on Comin' Down_

_It feels like a flood in my head_

_And that road _

_Keeps on callin' me_

_Screaming to everything_

_Lying ahead_

_It's a winding road_

_I've been walking for a long time_

_I still don't know_

_Where it goes_

_It's a long way home_

_I've been searching for a long time_

_I still have hope_

_I'm gonna find my way home_

_**Bonnie Somerville- Winding Road**_

Six hours, forty two minutes, twenty eight seconds. We were somewhere in Southern

Oregon, driving along the coastal highway, and I'd been staring out at the rain through the windows, lost in my thoughts as I scribbled in the journal like it was the only thing to keep me from talking to Tommy. Which it was. I was hyper beyond belief, and I blamed the excess of drive up cappuccino stands in Oregon. They were everywhere.

I tapped my pen against the paper idly, and jumped when Tommy put his hand over mine, meeting my gaze of annoyance with one of his own.

"You're driving me crazy..."he informed me, as we drove through the lush green landscape, the ocean to our right and farmlands to our left.

"Sorry..."I muttered, crossing my arms and closing my book.If I was driving him crazy then why was I here? I just didn't see the point anymore.

"What's going on inside that head of yours?" he asked me suddenly, and I shrugged.

"Do you care? I wasn't aware..."I responded, and he sighed.

"Jude...I drove cross country to get you...don't you think that means something?" he said, annoyed, and I put the journal down next to me.

"But what exactly does it mean?" I said finally, staring heatedly at my lap so I wouldn't do something stupid. I think bringing this up might have been stupid.

"Jude, you know that I-" I lost it, grabbing my ipod and turning it up, tuning him

out as we drove across the border into California.

When he yanked the headphones off my ears I stared at him in outrage.

"What the hell is your problem?" he asked me, and I rolled my eyes.

"I wasn't aware I had one Quincy...what's yours?" I shot back, my eyes meeting

his in a challenge.

"You are..."he said, and I crossed my arms as we pulled into a gas station, getting

out before he could stop me.

"Jude, what are you doing?"

"Seeing if anyone here knows the way to the nearest Bus Station so I can go back

to Seattle-"I told him simply, stomping off into the gas station. He caught me around the waist halfway, and I yelled loudly, kicking as he carried me back to the car.

"What the hell was that?" I yelled at him, and he pinned me to the car, his eyes

looking dangerously like he was going to.

"Quincy, I was just running away from my problems...following your good

example, which makes you an ass for getting angry in the first place for-"he cut me off, clenching his fists.

"I didn't leave because I had feelings for you..."he said heatedly, glancing around

him, "I left because I had to...it didn't have anything to do with you..."

"Right, so I was just some girl you could throw around until you got bored?" I

said, my voice cracking.

"You were much more than that, and you know it!" he said, his arms gripping me

so tightly that I winced.

"Quincy...you're hurting me..."I breathed, and he sighed, what I said clearly

affecting him. He glanced at me again, his eyes boring into mine, and finally began to loosen his grip on my arms.

"I've hurt you enough already, don't you think?" he said finally, and let me go,

walking around to the other side of the car while I rubbed my arms.

"Tommy..."I said softly, poking my head around the corner. He was sitting on the

ground, his knees to his chest and his head in his hands.

"Go away, girl...go get a snack inside or something..."he said quietly, and I

frowned, going inside and purchasing some coffees and twizzlers, seeing him already in the car when I got outside.

I got in silently, and handed him the candy and coffee, my eyes on the windshield

so he wouldn't see the tears silently streaming down my cheeks.

"Jude?" he asked, concerned, and I shook my head, staring out the window.

"I'm fine, Quincy..."I said softly, the shake in my voice informing him of how I

really was. He pulled over, and he hugged me.

"I'm so sorry..."he apologized, his hands smoothing my hair down, which had

turned into curls the second we'd started driving on the coast.

"I look like a clown or something..."I said softly, noticing my hair in the mirror.

"You don't..."he said gently, as we pulled into the parking lot, and he handed me

a pair of sunglasses.

"What's this?"

"Identity disguise...you don't want Good Morning Canada chasing us halfway

across the country, do you?" he joked, handing me my bag as he grabbed his own, going into the living room.

"We need a room for the night..."he said simply to the girl at the desk, who

blushed furiously, typing into the computer and taking his credit card.

"Ok, Mr. Laroche..."I glanced at him strangely, and he looked over at me like it

was nothing. Thomas Laroche. Judith Laroche...oh stop it. What am I doing? Just because he's been nice enough to come out here and get me doesn't mean he has feelings for me at all. Other experiences might say otherwise. But right now we're just friends. Aren't we?

I stared at him in surprise as he grabbed my hand, pulling me to the elevator.

"So I'm thinking...room service, and pay per view movies..."he said simply, and

shrugged, a small grin on my face.

Tommy time was back And hopefully this time it was here to stay.

"You bring those twizzlers from the car?" I asked him, and he held them up,

throwing his stuff down on one of the beds in the room.

A pizza, two packs of twizzlers, and too many cans of soda later, we were

laughing on his bed, leaning back and staring at the ceiling.

"I haven't heard you laugh since I came to pick you up..."he said, and I grabbed

his hand.

"What can I say Quince, you bring out the best in me..."I said, and leant up,

kissing him on the cheek, our eyes locking.

"I missed you..."he said quietly, and I glanced down.

My cell phone ringing snapped me out of my reverie.

I glanced at it, and at Tommy.

"Who-"

"Mason..."I said softly,"He must of just gotten back from tour..."

"I think you should answer it...at least tell someone you're alright so they stop

worrying..."

I flipped it open, my breath caught in my throat.

"Jude?" Mason asked, and I sighed.

"Hi...you alone?" I asked him tiredly, the sugar rush suddenly gone from my

body.

"Yeah, I'm in Studio C..."he said, and paused,"Are you okay?" he added.

"I will be..."I said, my eyes meeting Quincy's.

"I'm not going to tell you where I am...but I'm okay...I'll be okay..."I said a

second later, and he sighed.

"Tommy's worried about you..."Mason noted, and I glanced over at Tommy, who

was staring at my strangely.

"I'll call him..."I promised Mason.

"Georgia came back yesterday..."he added, and I nodded.

"I still watch the news, Mace..."I said, a lopsided smile on my face.

"Can I call you again?" he asked,"I have to record...but..."

"Yeah...tomorrow...you can call me in the morning..."I promised him,"I'll pick

up".

"Take care of yourself, gorgeous..."he said, and I grinned.

"I will, I promise..."I hung up, and laid on my side, staring at Quincy.

"That wasn't so hard, now was it?" he asked me, and I turned over, leaning back

into his chest.

"Nope..."I said sleepily, pulling the throw from the bottom of the bed over us.

He wrapped his arms around me, and I leant up to stare at him.

"Thank you..."I breathed softly, and leant back, shutting my eyes as he kissed the

top of my head, both of us succumbing to sleep.

When I woke up, my head was resting on his chest, my hair cascading around me, as it had gotten even longer in the last couple of months. I groaned, and glanced up at him, our eyes locking.

"Morning..."I mumbled, forcing myself to get up and grab my little bag of toiletries, heading for the bathroom, saying something about taking a shower.

That's when I saw the spider on the shower floor. Unfortunately when I was only in a towel. I wasn't even thinking. I came barreling out the bathroom, a shriek escaping my lips, and Tommy stared at me in amusement, and then worry when I jumped onto him, pointing at the bathroom, my eyes wide.

"What, girl?" he asked me, our eyes locking. And then I realized I was in a towel. Oh my God.

"There's a spider in the shower..."I managed, my face scarlet, holding the towel tightly to my body.

"Do you want me to kill it?" he questioned, searching my face for an answer, and I did something else I would consider to be stupid for the next couple of days.

I kissed him. I freaking kissed him. I'd be more embarrassed if he hadn't of kissed me back. But he did. Oh did he. Until he was laying on top of me, his arms around my waist, pulling me against him as we kissed.

"What are we doing?" I finally gasped, pulling away for air, and he sighed.

I pulled away from him, shaking my head, and glanced at the shower, somehow more afraid of Tommy then the spider. I turned it on, watching the spider fall down the drain, and contemplated my next move. I shouldn't have done that. I really, really shouldn't have done that.

When I came out of the shower an hour later, he was ready to go, staring out the window, his bag packed.

"We should...get back on the road..."he finally said, and I nodded, following him to the door, his hand on my shoulder guiding me. I climbed back into the car, and glanced over at him, shaking my head, and then back out the window. So we were back at this again? The...we kissed but not we're not even speaking?

I guess we were.

So? I am so tempted to write more. I really am.

Ahck.

Let me know...or no more new stuff!


	5. Chapter 5

Hide and Seek-

WARNING----

**_THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS ADULT CONTENT  
NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 18._**

_**VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. Lol.**_

_**I also changed the rating to M.**_

**_Yep _**

_**Enjoy-Jena**_

We were sitting in a park in the middle of Chicago, eating a small lunch, both of us avoiding eachother's eyes. We'd been through all the art museums in the city today, doing everything possible to distract me from each other. From that kiss we'd shared two days ago, from what he'd said when he was half asleep, everything.  
I couldn't let him in. I just couldn't do it. He glanced over at me, and I frowned, staring at him.

"What?" I asked him finally,"You've been doing that for the last three..."he cut me off, moving closer to me,and I backed up a little.

"Jude.."

"I told you to forget it Tommy..."I told him softly, wrapping my arms around myself and turning away from him.

"Are you really going to deny this..."he asked me, disbelieving, and I laughed softly.

"At the risk of not getting hurt again, yeah..."I said simply, and took a sip of my drink, staring at all the happy couples around the park. This was to pictureesque.Tommy and I stuck out like a sore thumb.

Who goes out to lunch with people they can hardly stand? Especially lately.

"Jude...I...I don't know what to say..."he said finally, and I snorted.

"That seems to be your forte, Tommy..."I said back softly, and got up,"I can't do this..."

"You gonna run again?" he asked, and I noticed the sky darkening. It was going to rain. Damn.

"It's going to rain, Tommy..."I pointed out, and started walking towards the hotel. This was a mistake. This was ridiculous.

"And you're going to run..."he supplied, and I turned around.

"You ran first!"I yelled back, not realising people were staring.

People that shouldn't staring. I made my way across the busy streets of Chicago,  
aware Quincy was falling me, as the rain started to fall. It picked up, and I shivered,picking up my pace, feeling him behind me, trying to keep up.

"Don't you walk away from me!"he yelled at me, and I turned to face him at the door to the lobby, our gazes locking.

"Why don't you walk away, Quincy...just shut up and walk away...it's what you're good at..."I told him harshly,"And I learnt From the best..."I added venemously.

I went through the doors and into the lobby, ignoring the stares of the people sitting in it, feeling Tommy's heated gaze behind me as I made my way to the elevator, my clothing stuck to me.

I was freezing, and so broken I didn't know how I'd pick myself up this time.  
And how I'd ever let Quincy in again. Ever. I was too scared.

My hand fumbled with the key, and I refused to look at him, opening the latch when the light flashed green at us. We'd gotten stares the whole way up from the lobby, which wasn't remotely what we needed, and he was pissed. Really, really pissed. We burst into the hotel room, our clothes soaking wet from the rain, and I  
shook my head, heading for the restroom whenhe went for the mini-fridge.

"Great Quincy, drink away your sorrows...see if I care..."I said angrily, wringing out my hair, and he grabbed my wrist, pulling me out to face him.

"Why did you just do that?" he asked me, completely straight, and I shrugged.

"This was a mistake...coming here, with you, was a mistake..."I said, and he laughed softly. 

"Is that really what you think?"he asked me, and I lost it. The damn holding in my emotions was about to break loose, starting with a trickle and ending with a flood. 

"Fine...you want to know what I think?" I asked him bitterly. I'd had enough. Enough of him judging me for this.Judging me for something he did in the first place!

"What do you think? Better yet, what are you thinking? I've been trying to figure out what's in that head of yours for the last 20 hours and you know what? I still don't know! So why don't you enlighten me!?" he said loudly,  
and I shook my head.

"You're a coward...you can't admit what you're feeling so you run...as fast as you can in the other direction! You did it with me,you did it with us.. you ran away..."I said harshly.

"I'm the coward?" he questioned, taking a step towards me so my knees hit the back of the bed, our gazes locking.So feeling something and being afraid of it isn't just as bad as being numb to everything that is going on around you?"he burst out, and his words hit home.

"Better not to let someone in who chances are will break your heart..."I whispered.

"You're numb, Jude...you're so fucking numb that you have no idea what you're doing! You have no idea that people care about you because you wont let them!"he screamed at me,"You have no idea what it felt like to have  
Darius tell me that you'd left...you don't know...to stare at the phone every night debating whether or not to call you because I wasn't sure if you would even answer...if you were even okay!"he was mad. More than mad. I'd never  
seen him this angry before. He clenched his fists,and I flinched. He didn't notice. He was still yelling.

"Listening to your sister cry over the phone week after week, begging me to call you because she knew you'd answer..."he continued,"Assuring your dad that I wasn't the reason that you might be dead somewhere...thinking  
you were dead somewhere..."

"Not everything is about you, you know..."I said finally, glancing down at my hands.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, because your sister said..."

"My sister spent all my fucking money..."I said softly, and he paused for a moment.

"What?"he asked, and I shrugged.

"She applied for another credit card...and she spent every cent I had...that's why I had to sell the car..."I said finally.

"I don't think that's an issue anymore Jude...you've been number one for almost six months now..."Tommy said, and I sighed.

"Don't you get it? Money was never the issue, Tommy...fame was never the issue...music was the only thing I  
wanted until you came along..."I said viciously, not realising what I'd said,"And there you are...being all vauge, and moody...flirting with me for months...then screwing my sister? Kissing me on my sixteenth birthday so you could make me forget it...asking me out only to leave with no explanation?Everything just another blow to me...my mom leaving with Don, my dad getting engaged to Yvette...the fucking pictures..."I covered my mouth.

"What pictures?"he asked, confused, and I shook my head.

"I'm not doing this...you don't deserve to know..."I told him, shaking my head.

"I just drove across the country to get you! I've spent every second on this trip trying to break down that wall you've built up over the last few months...and it seems to be getting taller and thicker every time I run at it!" he said,  
throwing his hands up.

"Was than an innuendo or your sign of sexual frustration, Quincy?"I asked him bluntly, and he gazed at me, infuriated.

"You're such a child..."he said again.

"You're so twenty four!" I shot back, our faces inches apart.

"You don't know what you want!" he said angrily.

"I know who I want..."I responded quickly, without thinking, and gasped when he grabbed the front of my sweatshirt, pulling me up against him harshly, pressing our lips together.

When we broke apart, I was gasping for air, my lungs felt devoid of all oxygen, and I felt like I could float into the clouds.

"T-Tommy..."I stuttered, my hand over my mouth, tracing my lips lightly.

"You should get some rest..."he said simply, turning his back to me, and I closed my eyes in exhaustion, fighting back tears.

"You're not doing this again...you're seriously going to do this again?" I asked him softly, fighting to keep the tremor out of my voice.

"Just go to bed, Jude..."he said, obviously angry with himself.

"No!" I said stubbornly, and stood in front of him, my hands across my chest.

"Am I that repulsive?" I asked him honestly, sadness giving way to anger,"That you feel disqusted with yourself  
everytime you get near me? Is that why you left?Because the girl that knows you the best, that gets you the most, is 17?" he glanced up,  
shocked at hearing the words he'd said two years ago.

"Yeah, I heard you..."I said, my eyes narrowed,"Talking about how I was out of bounds...how it could never work..."I paused,"But it isa little fucked up, Quincy...I can understand the problem with wanting a girl who is so young...so innocent...so untainted..."I was taunting him and I knew it. He shook his head, his eyes blazing.

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about..."he said softly, and I shrugged innocently, pulling my sweatshirt  
over my head to reveal my tank top, tossing it to the side and staring at him, shivering slightly from the cold of the room, both our  
clothes still damp from the rain.

"Don't I? You think I never thought the same thing about you?"I asked him softly, cocking an eyebrow, leaning against the wall,  
fighting the urge to shiver, leaning aimlessly against the wall, my eyes scanning him,"That I never wondered? What it would be life if  
Speid had never walked in on us,Tommy? Found us at the Chrome Cat? If we'd ever had that date? If you could get over the fact that  
I was worthless to you and just..."

"I'm not doing this... and you are anything..."he grabbed my shoulders harshly, and I winced again,"Anything, but worthless Jude..."  
he breathed angrily, and I put my hands on his shoulders, stopping him from going to the door.

"Then why do I feel that way? huh? Is it my mom leaving? Is it Liam firing me? Is it because you just can't love me?"  
I asked him pathetically. 

"Jude...you're too..innocent...I'm not..." I gave a low laugh. "I left my innocence in a hotel room in Barry seven months ago..."I said softly, reaching out to trace circles on his arm  
with my index finger. He closed his eyes, and I took another step closer, practically standing on his feet. He wanted to know what  
I meant. But I wasn't going to tell him.Not yet.

"What are you doing?"he whispered, letting me sit him on the bed, straddling his lap.

"Here I am, Quincy, I'm fucked up, you're fucked up, the least we can do is be fucked up together..."I said simply,  
glancing down at himfrom my position on his lap, our eyes fused together, my hands reaching up to pull down the straps of my tank top.

And there was no telling how he would respond.

"Jude...'he whispered, and his hands fell over mine, while he leaned over to kiss my colarbone softly, his hands skimming my arms.  
I moaned quietly, bitingmy lip, and leant forwards, both of us falling back onto the bed.

He wasted no time in turning us over, hovering over me, our eyes locking.

"I'm sorry..."he whispered, and I nodded.

"I know, Tommy..."I said quietly, and leant up, kissing him gently, wrapping my legs around his waist, our breath laboured.

I lifted my arms, shivering, and he pulled the tank top over my head, his eyes never straying from mine. I blushed at the absurdity of  
the situation, and he smiledsoftly.

"You're perfect..."he told me quietly, brushing a thumb across my cheek.

"No I'm not...no one's perfect..."I breathed softly, shivering, and he kissed me gently.

"Are you cold?" he asked, and I nodded, sighing as he blanketed his body over mine, his arms around my waist.

He pulled a blanket up from the edge of the bed, and tucked it around us, his eyes not straying from mine.

"Better?" he asked, and I nodded silently, staring up at him.

"A lot better..."I said quietly, and kissed him again, his hands coming up to rest at the nape of my neck, pulling  
me closer. 

"Jude..."he said softly, when I reached for his shirt, and I nodded, unsure.

"I'll be okay..."I told him quietly, my hands working on the buttons shakily, our eyes locking.

"Are you sure you're ready..."I cut him off with another kiss, leaning up to push his shirt off of his shoulders,  
staring at his naked torso in wonder, my handsrunning over it gently.

When he tilted my chin up, kissing me again, I let him push me down into the mattress, my arms around his waist,  
runnning up and down his back. He moaned softly, and I sighed, tilting my neck when he started kissing down the side of it, giving  
him better access.

When he unclasped my bra, I let him slide it off, relishing in the heat that came from us being chest to chest.

"Tommy..."I whispered, and he smiled softly.

"I'll never get over how beautiful my name sounds coming from you..."he told me honestly, raising kisses across my chest  
and downward,closing his mouth around my right nipple, my breath catching in my throat.

"Oh..."I said in suprise, and he grinned, tweaking the other one with his thumb, grabbing my loose hand in his.

I groaned again when he switched breasts, my hands limp at my sides, curling as he gave my breasts equal attention.

"You are so beautiful..."he murmered, leaving my chest to travel downwards, his lips leaving a bath across my stomach  
and to my panty line, my breath coming in small pants, my eyes screwed shut.

When he reached for the button of my jeans, I let him, watching him slide the jeans down to my ankles, his gaze raking mine  
appreciatively.

"Wow..."he breathed, and I gasped as he lowered my panties, leaning up to kiss my hipbone softly.

"What do you want?" he asked me, and I sighed, tensing and untensing.

"You..."I whispered simply, and bit back a cry as he spread my liquids over my core with his fingers gently,  
leaning down to taste it with his tounge.

"Oh my god..."I whispered, as he dipped his tounge inside my folds, exploring them like he was eating a delicate  
candy. I groaned, and almost screamed when he pushed his tounge all the way inside of me, moving it around quickly.

"Ugh...Tommy..."I whispered, and felt a pressure building inside of me.

When there was a knock on the door, we jumped apart, my eyes scanning him as he walked to the door.

"Sir? I'm sorry...we heard yelling a while back, and we just wanted to see..."I heard a mans voice, and got up quietly.

"We're fine..."I told the guy at the door,a sheet wrapped around me, flashing a smile and handing him a twenty,  
much to Quincy's suprise.

"Baby, are you coming back to bed?" I said flirtaciously, blowing on the back of his earlobe, and Tommy tensed.

"In a minute..."he managed, his voice strangled. And the man looked really uncomforable. I grinned inwardly.

"Okay..."he said, unsure, and I looped my arms around Tommy's neck, leaning my head on his shoulder.

When the bus boy closed the door, Tommy turned to face me, confused.

"Where'd you learn how to do that?" he asked me, and I shrugged, walking back into the main part of the room,  
grabbing a pair of sweats and another tank top out of my suitcase.

"I've been on tour too...I'm gonna take a shower..."I told him softly,dropping my sheet on the floor with my back to him, walking   
to the bathroom, aware he was staring.

Completely aware.

When I came out of the bathroom thirty minutes later, he was asleep on the bed, having changed his clothes and dried off. I sat on  
the edge of it, and bent over him, leaning up to his ear. He was shivering, and I put a hand on his back gently.

"Quincy?" I asked him softly, and he moaned, rolling over to face me.

"Jude..."he breathed, and I glanced around me.

"You're shivering...and I'm out of the shower-so if you want---" he cut me off by kissing me softly, pulling me to rest on top  
of him, his hands tangled in my freshly blow-dried hair.

"You smell good..."he said soflty, and I leant into his chest, amazed he hadn't kicked me off of it yet.

"You smell like ciggarettes..."I said idly, leaning up and kissing the underside of his jaw.

"We do need to sleep, Jude...we have to be in Montana by Friday, and it's already Monday..."he said softly, rolling me to the side,  
looping his arms around my waist and dropping a kiss on my shoulder.

"Just promise me you won't leave me here...promise me you'll be here when I wake up..."I responded in a half whisper,  
and turned, kissing him chastely,"I won't let you run away this time.."I added, turning around and closing my eyes, pulling the blanket closer to me.

"I promise," he said simply,leaning over me to shut off the light.

And I slept the best I'd slept in seven months. With no idea what tomorrow would bring.


	6. Chapter 6

Hide and Seek  
Jena Rink  
next part-  
Sorry it's been so long.

Same warning as before applies.

Remember, its M now!

Read and review please love ya!

When we pulled into another hotel parking lot, I'd been asleep for hours, my head lolling against Tommy's shoulder. He'd finally consented to stop playing the game when I was half awake, and not speaking coherent answers any longer. It was the longest amount of time we'd been on the road thus far, and I awoke to him slipping sunglasses over my eyes.

"Hey Jude...I don't wanna piss you off..."I whacked at him drunkenly, seeing as I was half awake, and he laughed softly.

"Five more minutes Tom...please..."I pleaded, and he laughed quietly, leaning over and kissing me softly, pulling me upwards, leaving me breathless.

"You awake now?" he asked mischeviously, and I grunted in response, reaching for my purse on the edge of the seat.

"What time is it?"

"Almost five..."he responded, grabbing our bags from the car, and tossing me mine.

"Ugh...Tommy..."I groaned, and he sighed.

"We can sleep once we get to the room, Jude..."he told me softly, and I nodded dejectedly, following him inside the lobby, my bag over my shoulder.

"Welcome to the Mariott St. Louis...how can I help you two?"the desk attendant asked, and Tommy slipped her his credit card.

"Can you just get us the best room availible for one night?" he asked, and she nodded.

"Of course Mr. Laroche..."she said, batting her eyelashes, and I rolled my eyes, clinging to Tommy protectively, leaning up to whisper in his ear.

"She totally wants you..."I mumbled sleepily, and he grinned.

"Do you need any help to your room?" she asked, uncomfortable, as Tom turned and hugged me tightly, kissing me softly.

"I totally want you..."he said back in my ear, and I blushed.

"No, we'll manage..."he told her, tossing her a five dollar bill as we walked to the elevators, pressing the up button.

My phone rang, and I groaned, glancing at it tiredly. It was Mason. He'd forgotten to call the other day, and I hadn't spoken to him since. I flipped it open, clearing my throat.

"Hey, Mason.."I said, laughing softly as Tommy failed to open the door. 

"You sound better..."he commented, and I sighed.

"I'm happy..."I remarked, sliding my own card and opening the door, sticking my tounge out at Tommy as I walked inside.

"Could you get off the phone soon?" Tommy asked , his gaze scorching me, and I shivered.

"You plan to make good on that in your pants offer?" I asked bluntly, and squeaked when he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Better than that...girl..."he said huskily, and I got weak in the knees.

"Jude...did you call Tommy?" Mason asked, concerned, and I grinned.

"Did I call Tommy?" I repeated numbly, as he nibbled at my earlobe, and made a noise of protest as the phone was taken from me.

"I called her, Mason..."he said, and I sighed softly,"Can we call you back?"

"Um..sure..."Mason said, and he clicked the phone off, shutting the door and kissing me, picking me up, my legs wrapping around his waist.

Meanwhile, our lips were fused together as I blindly worked his polo shirt off of him, tossing it onto a nearby lounge chair.

"Tom?" I moaned, as he un buttoned my shorts, trailing kisses down my chest towards my center. I was awash with pleasure, and when I felt him pull my underewear off of my legs, leaving me completely exposed for him, I shivered slightly. He grabbed my hands gently, and our eyes met.

"Girl, have you ever..." I glanced down, and shook my head, embarrassed.

"I want to..."I whispered, to myself more than him, and he nodded gently, running his thumbs over my hipbone lightly, tracing the curve of it, following it with small kisses.

When we were finally skin to skin, my eyes widened at the reality of the situation as he took out a condom, rolling it over himself, his eyes locking with mine.

"I'll be gentle, okay?" he asked, and I shook my head. "Just get it over with..."I said, panting softly, and moaned loudly as he thrust past my virginity, wincing as tears gathered at the corner of my eyes, my body adjusting to his.

"You okay?" he breathed, and I nodded, kissing him softly, closing my eyes tightly.

"You...you can move..."I whispered throatily, and let out a low moan when he pulled out of me slowly, thrusting back in just as slow, my fingers clawing at his back.

"Shhhh..."he breathed, kissing the tears away from my eyes, and I glanced up at him, our eyes locking again.

"Oh..."I breathed, when he did it again, the friction feeling wonderful against my walls, making me short of breath and sort of floaty.

"God you're so tight..."he murmured softly, kissing my collarbone, and I moaned loudly as he pulled out again, going in just as slow. It wouldn't be enough. I needed more.

"Go faster..."I said quietly, and he nodded, picking up the pace a little as my legs wrapped around his waist again, unconsciously grinding against him as he thrust into me.

"Oh God...Jude.."he murmured, and I moaned again, pulling him closer, kissing him to drown out my cries.

I stiffened against him, arching my back to drive him further into me, when he pinched my clit lightly, sending me over the edge. I was in pure bliss as I rode out the waves of my orgasm, surprised when he kept going, lifting my ankles to his shoulders, creating an all new level of penetration.

"Oh My God..."I whispered, my cries only gathering in volume.

"Jude..."He moaned softly, and I cracked an eye open, staring at him as he thrust into me.

"Look at me..."he breathed, and I nodded, our eyes locking as he continued to thrust, sending both of us over the edge within seconds.

"Jude " he cried out, as my walls contracted around him, and I moaned with exhaustion, letting him drape his body over me.

"Oh God...that...was amazing..."he whispered, and I smiled softly.

"Yeah?" I asked him, and he sighed, kissing beads of sweat off of my chest.

"You were amazing.."he whispered, and I sighed.

"You weren't so bad yourself..." I commented, panting, and he smiled.

"God you're beautiful..."he breathed, and kissed my collarbone..

We collapsed against each other, a sheen of sweat covering our bodies, and I held him close, wanting to remember this moment forever.


End file.
